They say when you are pregnant you get a “glow” – maybe from excitement, happiness and joy. A mysterious womanly glow which as a person who has never had a baby before sounds quite beautiful. In my case however this glow about me is due to the perspiration and general clamminess of my skin as I run to various containers to safely and as cleanly as possible empty my already empty stomach.
You don’t often hear of this sort of glow and what you do hear about morning sickness really does not prepare you for the constant gagging, general discomfort and frequented bathroom stops. Not to sound overly negative about this wonderful stage of life but those who have dealt with rough morning sickness will agree - what is often described as beautiful and wonderful is downright rough for those of us who get picked up by the nauseous train. You are in for some ride!
The other thing about early pregnancy you don’t really hear about is how guilty you feel if you are so special to be chosen to ride that train. Constant guilt. I have been stationed to my bed and couch for the past few months with a restless husband and two very energetic puppies. I haven't been able to go to the dog park (urine smells are not helpful for those who are prone to gagging), I can’t make dinner or even open my fridge (something about a lot of food in one place or even the thought of food in general).
I am on medicine – tiny white pills with small pink happy women with big bellies on top. If I am still taking these pills when my belly is that big I will not be happy. Not to mention the general lack of discreetness a pill with a pregnant women painted on has. I guess it’s just so you don’t mix them up with the other tiny white pills you take. I hope you can sense my ability to laugh at myself though this experience – I really do think it is rather hilarious when I am actually not being sick. I will often gag, laugh at what I gagged at and then be sick and laugh at how I was sick. Throw in the crazy emotions – really this stage of life should be compared to ‘one flew over the coo coo’s nest’ – sheer mayhem.
So all of this to say – I am pregnant, I have a different type of glow and boy is this different then how I imagined it to be.
You may have guessed by now my reasons for not blogging over the past few months – no need to really give any further explanation. This blog may take a turn towards baby which will consume a lot of time in the Little White Bird world from this point on, I am however excited about this next step and hope you will join me on my journey towards (gasp) motherhood!